Messages From the Lost Spread Part 2

So, a long while back, I mentioned that I'd be doing a Messages From the Lost Spread with my older brother in mind. The spread is a simple 5 card spread, with a card for Spirit, then one each for the elements. I got the spread from an online friend, and this is the spread she used to ask for a message from her recently deceased niece. After pulling the cards, I'm not so certain its a message coming form my older brother, but it could be someone else I've lost, and to me, Lost doesn't necessarily mean dead.

I think I'd like to try an experiment here. I will not do any interpretation of this spread right now. I would like instead for any of you who are reading this blog to take the time to post YOUR interpretations of the spread, and then I'll come back with mine. Let's compare!

The Draw:
Spirit: 5 of Primordialism (Cups,) Reversed
Earth: 7 of Questing (Wands)
Air: The Hierophant, Reversed
Fire: King of Questing (Wands,) Reversed
Water: The Hanged Man, Reversed

The Associations/Keywords:
Spirit: Hope, Return, Inheritance. Water/Emotion
Earth: Valor, Development, Purpose, Courage, Energy, Perfection, Vision, Value. Fire/Ideas
Air: Gullibility, Unorthodoxy, Unconventionality.
Fire: Severity, Honesty, Subordination. Fire/Ideas
Water: Preoccupation, Arrogance, Absorption, Indecision

A Functional Return

Back in May, I posted about being back, then went silent again. My life has been pretty upside-down for a while, and I am not very good at dealing with it at times. This blog went by the wayside.

I am back at college, full time, and have a little job on the side, plus my little Etsy shop is actually generating sales every week or so, so I think I should climb back in to the blogging saddle and see if I can do you, if there are any of you left, right.

Today, I got to class early and so I picked a spread from the many I have pinned on Pinterest.com, and did a quick layout. I did not take a photo, so you'll have to use your imaginations.

Here's the layout I used, which is to be credited to Labyrinthos Academy, which is an online tarot school, apparently. They have some great spreads, and I pin their stuff all of the time, so you'll probably see them again.

So let's get to the breakdown:

The card position meanings:
1) your role in the relationship
2) your partner's role in the relationship
3) past foundation
4) current state
5) looming future

I dealt for myself:
1) The Queen of Questing (Wands,) Reversed. Fire/Idea
2) The Ace of Dynamism (Swords) Air/Action
3) The Page of Primordialism (Cups,) Reversed. Water/Emotion
4) The Five of Questing (Wands) Fire/Idea
5) The Queen of Primordialism (Cups) Water/Emotion

The keyword associations for each card:
1) Opposition, Jealousy, Chastity, Enterprise
2) Knowledge, Conquest, Victory, Clarity, Inventiveness, Originality
3) Deception, Obstacle, Inaction
4) Strife, Competition, Obstacles, Anxiety, Frustration, Freneticism, Hyperactivity
5) Imagination, Emotional Integrity, Self-Reflection, Unconscious, New Form, New Identity, New Life, Expressing Oneself Without Blame or Judgement

So now let's try to tell a story with what I was dealt. You might notice I've started to put the element and anther descriptor alongside the cards - I often point these out as I perform readings, so I thought I'd note them here.

So, for the the first position, 'your role in the relationship,' I drew the Queen of Wands in Reverse, whose keywords are Opposition, Jealousy, Chastity, and Enterprise. Remember, not every keyword association relates to every reading, so I'll discard the ones that either make no sense or are obviously contradictory to my actual current role in my relationship. I remove Chastity and Enterprise (although Enterprise may hold some bearing here, its slim, and is more of a descriptor than anything else, and I know the reading is about me, so out it goes!) and that leaves me with Opposition and Jealousy. These words are very appropriate for my current role and situation. Wands are the house of Ideas and Fire, and these also really apply here, for personal reasons I don't need to lay out in this blog.

In the second position, 'your partner's role in the relationship,' i drew the Ace of Swords, whose keywords are Knowledge, Conquest, Victory, Clarity, Inventiveness, and Originality. I'm going to toss out Knowledge, Inventiveness, and Originality, leaving me with Conquest, Victory, and Clarity. I'm biased, but due to recent events and upheavals in our life, I feel that my partner certainly feels as if he has won, (Conquest, Victory,) and he has Clarity of thought (although I see it more as tunnel vision atm.) Swords are the House of Air and Action, and I have been feeling lately that he is in the power position, and that he has the next move.

In the third position, 'past foundation,' I drew the Page of Cups, in Reverse, whose keywords are Deception, Obstacle, and Inaction. Looking at our past together, which spans nearly 13 years, I see how these keywords apply. Cups is the house of Water and Emotion, and we certainly have a long, emotion filled history, and there's been a fair share of Deception, whether it be intentional or us deceiving ourselves at times, we have had many Obstacles, more than sometimes I thought we could bear, and as for Inaction, well, we both are procrastinators and are usually reluctant to make important decisions or act upon them.

In the fourth position, 'current state,' I drew the Five of Wands, whose keywords are Strife, Competition, Obstacles, Anxiety, Frustration, Freneticism, and Hyperactivity. This card really describes things a lot, for me at least, and my view of the current state of my relationship. There is absolutely Competition, more Obstacles than I 'd like to face, I have major Anxiety about it, I'm Frustrated, he's frustrated....I'll kick out the Freneticism and Hyperactivity, as they don't really apply here so much, unless they refer to my thinking about stuff too much, paired with the Anxiety. The Wands again are the house of Fire and Ideas, and our current state is Firey and full of us and our opposing Ideas about our situation.

In the fifth and final position, 'looming future,' I drew the Queen of Cups. It is a relief to draw a card from the house of love, passion, and emotion for my 'looming future,' but let's analyse: Imagination, Emotional Integrity, Self-Reflection, Unconscious, New Form, New Identity, New Life, and Expressing Oneself Without Blame or Judgement. Each of these keyword associations can be taken in a really positive way, and even cumulatively they can be as well. It would be nice to assume the best and see only sunshine and roses, but lets look a little harder. Three of the keywords can be taken a couple of different ways: New Form, New Identity, New Life. On one hand, we can read this as renewal and rebirth of the relationship itself, but o the other hand it could be implying that each person may be seeking those things alone. If I wanted to , I could say that the keywords say that with Imagination, Emotional Integrity and Self Reflection, WE will find a New Form and Identity for our relationship, build a New, better Life, and find ways to Express Ourselves without Blame or Judgement from the other. OR, I could read it in a way that tells me I will be setting out on my own journey to find a new form, identity, and life.

Scary stuff. I am choosing to let the cards tell me to move forward with Imagination and Emotional Integrity, do some Self-Reflection, and create a New Form for my relationship along with a new Identity and Life (something I'm already trying to do by taking the reins of my life, instead of letting them dangle by the cartwheels of the chariot.)

I am choosing that because I am terrified of the alternative. This is a perfect example of using personal bias to drive our readings in one direction or another. This is why I typically don't so readings for myself, as well.

Normally, when I break down a reading here, it's a 'blind reading,' which means I just threw down cards with no intent, just to get something to work with to show you guys a layout. Unless I say so, these breakdowns will always be blind.

Back

On March 28th, I posted that I had lost my older brother and that I would be taking some time to grieve. you can read that post here, if you like.

It been nearly two months, and I haven't posted since.

Yesterday was my brother's birthday. It hit me hard - really hard. I spent the day crying and cleaning, and to be honest, worrying my two youngest children, who responded by making me some lovely cards in an attempt to cheer me up. They have yet to experience loss and grief yet - they hadn't seen their uncle, my brother since they were very, very small, and don't remember him. I wish they had known him better. He was a wonderful person.

At any rate, I intend to resume posting here shortly. I don't know that I will resume daily posts, but certainly will attempt some sort of regularity.

I am still in pain, still very sad, but I think his birthday passing has marked a grief milestone for me.
I don't know how much more I will talk about it, but I will at least do the reading I mentioned in my last post, to start off the new round of posts.

Not tonight, because it's nearly 2AM. I just wanted to let everyone know I'm back.

Messages From the Lost Spread

On Thursday the 23rd of March, I was woken up by a Facebook messenger call from my Auntie Liz in England. She couldn't find my mother, her sister's phone number and needed to relay some very bad news. My older brother, who had been missing for several days in England, had been found dead on Saturday the 18th in his hostel room. Later, we learned it had been of natural causes.

Of course, I am devastated and hurt, and miss my big brother very much. Today I realized I'd been neglecting my blog, and my art, and when I sat down to rite, the only spread I could think of was the one pictured below. A friend I met online shared this photo with a group I am in  and asked for help interpreting it. She posted it saying, "Hey ladies, what is your take on this card draw? Question asked is, "What message do you have from my niece Aliana?" When I asked her if the placement of the cards had any meaning, she replied:

"Sounds weird, but I pull for the quarters, 4 on bottom. And spirit card up top by itself. But nothing really fancy."

So I did my best and it turned out the cards were a message alright - her niece Aliana, who had been murdered, was trying to warn her Aunt that her father, my friend's brother, was allowing his grief to steer him down the path of addiction. My friend was able to reach out to him and he agreed to go into rehab.

So, with this in mind, I thought I would also do this spread. But not right now. I need to grieve differently still.

The Feather and Stone Spread - Weighing Your Options

Sometimes, I can't sleep, no matter how hard I try. Last night was one of those nights. (Well, by the time this post goes live, it will have been several nights ago...) I finally grabbed my phone and opened a drawing app  (Autodesk SketchBook) and ended up designing three new layouts. Ill give them each a post, and we will see how they work out. They could be useless, they may need tweaking, but please understand it was 4am and my brain and body were desperate for sleep. My muse, however? Not so much.

Here's the third and final 4 am spread:

1: The Feather

2: The Stone

3: The Risk

4: The Benefit

5: The Consequence

So, this layout is for when you're trying to make a decision, and need to get your ducks in a row. On one side of the scale, you have The Feather - this is the thing that looks easy but maybe isn't as simple a decision as you think. On the other side of the scale you have The Stone. This is the heavy decision, the thing that perhaps you are stressing out about more than you need to. Between them are The Risk, The Benefit, and The Consequence. They speak for themselves, I think. Note: I did not include an outcome card, because I have never felt that one should make decisions based on what a card draw tells you. I'd rather use a spread that helps you see your options, and weigh them against one another before deciding on your own what your future holds.

I drew the cards for this layout, and this is what I got (no photo  because I did this while my cellphone was dead):

The Feather: 2 of Swords - precariousness, treachery, blindness, decision, peace, integrative mind
The Stone: 7 of Cups - temptation, selfishness, illusion, debauchery, addiction, over-everything, promiscuity
The Risk: 9 of Pentacles - gain, prudence, benefit, balance, order, organization, unification
The Benefit: King of Wands - authority, leadership, fatherhood, inspired direction, vision, intuition, evolution, spiritual growth, energy, arrogance
The Consequence: 5 of pentacles - impoverishment, destitution, loss, loneliness, worry, concern, preoccupation

Before I start, I have had the chance to play with this layout a bit more since I created it, as well as have a few people test it out, like The Nerdy Witch, and what I think I have discovered is that the Feather and Stone are relative. The Feather could be a big issue, that maybe you don't consider to be as big as you thought, and The Stone could be an issue much less important than you thought. The layout is really just about weighing your options, and I included no conclusion/solution/answer card here because I want the querent to come to their own decisions, rather than depending on the cards to decide for them. That is not to say that the cards drawn wont change the querent's mind or at least influence the decision in the end.

So this is where the explication goes, but I have had a crazy week full of really big changes and this draw is not fully relevant anymore. It is, but it isn't.

So for The Feather, I drew a somewhat two-faced card. The 2 of Swords not only indicates treachery and negative things, but also making decisions and the peace that comes with the integrative mind (integrative is an adjective that means 'serving or intending to unify separate things'.) It seems somewhat contradictory, but I think it also can express the feelings one has when they are of two minds about something, and make a decision. You may feel guilty or badly about the decision, but once it is made, a sort of peace arrives that allows you to reap the benefits of that decision.

The Stone card I drew talks about temptation - specifically the temptations of the flesh, and the illusions we cast on ourselves when we follow those temptations blindly, and the addictions that come along with getting in too deep too quickly.

So, before I talk about the other cards, lets talk about The Feather and The Stone together. Each of them represents one side of the scale. The Feather is the thing we thing may not be  big deal and that carries less weight, while The Stone is the thing we are perhaps putting too much weight upon. So here, this is saying that my Feather is my need to make a decision about something im feeling at odds with, and that my Stone is the guilt and fear itself I have regarding that decision.

Moving on to The Risk: This card seems to indicate to me that the decision I'm facing puts things I value at risk, like balance and order, prudence and unification. However, any change in life puts these things at risk.

The Benefit card speaks about authority, leadership, inspired direction, vision, intuition, evolution, spiritual growth, energy, and arrogance. Considering the decision I was facing at the time of the draw, this makes a lot of sense to me. The person it is clearly speaking of does mean many of these things to me, and the decision I needed to make would affect my relationship with that person.

The final card, the Consequence card, talks about some fairly negative things. At the time I did the reading, I was worried that it meant that making the decision was a bad idea, but now I think it may have been a warning to not allow my Feather and my Stone (the guilt, and fear) - to overwhelm me.

**Sorry for the delay in posts. I should be getting back on track over the next few days!**

Dangnabbit

Scheduled posts have not been posting when they should, and I have had a very busy few days with some major changes going on in my personal life, so posts haven't been showing up at 3pm CST every day as they should. I am working to resolve this.

More posts as soon as figure this out!

The See It All Spread

Sometimes, I can't sleep, no matter how hard I try. Last night was one of those nights. (Well, by the time this post goes live, it will have been several nights ago...) I finally grabbed my phone and opened a drawing app  (Autodesk SketchBook) and ended up designing three new layouts. Ill give them each a post, and we will see how they work out. They could be useless, they may need tweaking, but please understand it was 4am and my brain and body were desperate for sleep. My muse, however? Not so much.

This is the second:

It was 4 am. Don't judge.

1 - 3: The Seen ( this is stuff you know about )

4 - 6: The Unseen ( this is stuff you don't know about )

7 - 8: The Choice ( this is what you have left after seeing it all )

I deliberately chose not to put an outcome card in this layout. I think just seeing what is there, the stuff that was in the open and the stuff hidden from your view, and then seeing what you need to choose between now that you've seen it all is enough. This isn't about prediction, its about laying it all out on the table and seeing what you have to deal with.

So lets try laying some cards out and see what we get.

1 - 3: The Hermit, Reversed, The 3 of Pentacles, and The Page of Pentacles.
4 - 6: The 8 of Wands, The Ace of Cups, and the 6 of Wands.
7 - 8: 9 of Swords, Reversed, and 5 of Wands, Reversed.

So, the Seen begins with the Hermit card in reverse, and this indicates immaturity and foolishness. The 3 of Pentacles indicates effort, persistence, tenacity, priorities, commitments, focus, intention, and direction. The Page of Wands then indicates brilliance, learning, courage, beauty, self liberation, release of fear, spontaneous expression, freedom, new direction, and adventure.

To me, these three cards may be about the querent's point of view. What they can see because it is their perspective.

The Unseen begins with the 8 of Wands, indicating motion, journey, ideas, actions, swiftness, progress, communication, transformation, and problem solving. Then the Ace of Cups indicates a breakthrough, the open heart, the trusting heart, and expression. The Unseen ends with the 6 of Wands, which indicates victory, success, advancement, revitalization, energy, and expansion.

These Unseen cards could mean a lot of different things - I think it will have a lot to do with context for the querent - but it could be the perspective from another involved party's point of view, or the querent's subconscious mind's perspective, what they may be hiding from themselves.

Finally, for The Choice, we have the 9 of Swords, reversed, meaning suspicion, doubt, shame, imprisonment, desolation, misery and death, and the 5 of Wands, reversed, indicating the other option in The Choice is contradiction, complication, competition, restriction, restraint.

Honestly, for this querent, the Choice seems to be that making either choice is leading somewhere negative. But, as I always say, negative can simply mean a warning of the possible.

This layout may need some tweaks to be a properly functioning layout. Let me know what you think in the comments below!

Next Blog: The Feather and Stone Spread - Weighing Your Options